Things I found helpful this week

The above image from www.nedratawwab.com showed up on my Facebook feed the other day, and I couldn't love it more.

I grew up in the midwest of the United States. For you non-Americans, the midwestern states (Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Michigan, Missouri, Nebraska, and Ohio) have their own culture. It focuses heavily on being polite, helping others, hard work, and not complaining. We pride ourselves on being "midwest nice", and being a good neighbor is a huge part of the midwest identity.

However, the downside to that is that we aren't always the best at setting boundaries. Boundaries are the rules and limitations we put on interactions to care for ourselves. For example, I have a boundary that I will not be friends on social media with clients. It's not that I don't like you! But it's important I have distance from work and we both have privacy in our personal lives. It may seem strange when we cover such deep topics in counseling, but it really is an important boundary.

The reason I like this image is because it addresses some of the boundaries "midwest nice" isn't go at setting. For example, you don't have to forgive someone just because they apologize. You have the right to say no to things, even after you said yes to them previously. And it is okay to feel all kinds of emotions, including feeling depressed, anxious, or angry. The human experience is messy, and setting boundaries is how we allow ourselves to experience all there is to experience without getting overwhelmed and dragged down by it.

If you're struggling to set boundaries, that is a very common topic to tackle in counseling. Reach out to me to set up an appointment where we can discuss some of the issues you're facing.

-Aiden